From the day I come into this world
I'm faced with choices
Choice of sleeping or choice of eating
But I don't have the choice of whether I'm willing to come into this world
As I grow older, there's more choices in place for me
I can chose to play on my own or to play with my neighbours
I can chose to draw my ideas on used paper or just do origami on them
But I can't chose to grow up faster
As I move into my teens, I still face choices
I can chose to skip classes
I can chose to join any ECAs that I like
But I can't chose to skip exams
Now,
I chose to be misunderstood by others but chose not to explain the truth
I chose to lose friends from the lack of explanation
I chose to dissappoint others who had done no wrong to me
I chose to be a escapist
I chose to be a bastard
I chose to be a jerk
But
I can't chose not to regret some of the choices I've made
I can't chose not to be too soft-hearted
I can't chose to have someone by my side when I need them most
I can't chose to have a job of my dream
I can't chose to have someone whom I'll care dearly for
I can't chose not to be childish most of the times despite my age
Life is just full of choices, joys....and regrets
Just received a email from John, he asked me if I'm interested to join his newly formed company, dealing with multimedia and sound. I was telling myself, it was a dream come true as it's been my dream to work in this field. However there comes a dilemma; I'm comfortable with current job, as the engineer I worked with had been teaching me a lot of things, and I wanna repay him by helping him through the project. Think I'll need quite some time to make a decision that I won't regret.
After a long day at work, I figure I could indulge myself in a movie. So there I go, booked a ticket and watch a movie right after work. The movie was very good and I feel that the price of the ticket is indeed well spent.
I don't know why, it could be a surge of loneliness or the fustration of losing my hair, been feeling very edgy about almost everything, resulting in pissing ppl off. Ah fuck, maybe a good sleep will just ease everything down.
After a long day at work, I figure I could indulge myself in a movie. So there I go, booked a ticket and watch a movie right after work. The movie was very good and I feel that the price of the ticket is indeed well spent.
I don't know why, it could be a surge of loneliness or the fustration of losing my hair, been feeling very edgy about almost everything, resulting in pissing ppl off. Ah fuck, maybe a good sleep will just ease everything down.
Today LF came to the office and visit us, knowing the seriousness of the situation in our office. A and E, 2 of the most senior staffs, is leaving the company, leaving only me and Kris with a bunch of newbies. Soon, we won't have "Fatimah" to fill our water bottles and let us disturb her. She felt reluctant to leave at first, saying that she wanted to stay coz of the guys here. I told her if she's staying for the wrong reason (the guys and not the work) then it's better that she take up the other job offer.
LF passed me the appointment letter for my permanent status conversion. After a year of working for the company, I am finally converted to permanent staff. However, knowing LF's style, I took a glimpse at the appointment letter.... What the fuck?!?!?! The "increment" that she mentioned is only a meagre 50 bucks?!?!?! Such sincerity... Feeling disappointed, I told her I wanna read thru the contract before signing it.
On the way home, I read thru the contract and as I expected, it's filled with loopholes. where's the clause for AWS? How much AWS am I supposed to get? there's other details that are missing and she expect me to sign this? Crazy! At this age, I should have the common sense how not to get makan by ppl. Nevertheless I'll be writing an "inspiring" email to her soon and at the same time, prospect hunting is on again.
LF passed me the appointment letter for my permanent status conversion. After a year of working for the company, I am finally converted to permanent staff. However, knowing LF's style, I took a glimpse at the appointment letter.... What the fuck?!?!?! The "increment" that she mentioned is only a meagre 50 bucks?!?!?! Such sincerity... Feeling disappointed, I told her I wanna read thru the contract before signing it.
On the way home, I read thru the contract and as I expected, it's filled with loopholes. where's the clause for AWS? How much AWS am I supposed to get? there's other details that are missing and she expect me to sign this? Crazy! At this age, I should have the common sense how not to get makan by ppl. Nevertheless I'll be writing an "inspiring" email to her soon and at the same time, prospect hunting is on again.
Today was pretty normal day... work is starting to pile up, deadline is getting real close and the turnover rate is getting higher by the day. Not a bad thing after all, since having work to do will keep me occupied. Of course, on and off, I'll surf the forum just to de-stress a bit, especially when I can get to whack some ppl *evil grin*
So thru the forum, Dady jio ppl for KTV and at the same time I also feel the urge for a KTV session so I asked if I could join along. Surpriseingly, she didn't reject me and asked me to get her number from Lemon. However, I asked Damien along since he's living nearby and Dady have no problem with it.
Upon reaching the KTV place, I met Dady for the first time. Like what Lemon had described, she looked lian-ish, but looks are looks, I don't judge her by it. Thru the session, I find her to be a nice person, she's very considerate towards others. Boy came shortly after, and it's getting better by the minute. It seems that Boy and Dady are very good friends since they were pretty intimate with each other and Boy ah, KNN, sad already still go chose those super sad Wang Jie songs....
So thru the forum, Dady jio ppl for KTV and at the same time I also feel the urge for a KTV session so I asked if I could join along. Surpriseingly, she didn't reject me and asked me to get her number from Lemon. However, I asked Damien along since he's living nearby and Dady have no problem with it.
Upon reaching the KTV place, I met Dady for the first time. Like what Lemon had described, she looked lian-ish, but looks are looks, I don't judge her by it. Thru the session, I find her to be a nice person, she's very considerate towards others. Boy came shortly after, and it's getting better by the minute. It seems that Boy and Dady are very good friends since they were pretty intimate with each other and Boy ah, KNN, sad already still go chose those super sad Wang Jie songs....
Oh well, the week, once again, had been routine with minimal excitement which means, there's nothing to write for the week.. Maybe the only thing I can write is the event where I got to know that D had expressed his feelings about D. Well, it comes as no surprise to me coz I anticipate that kind of thing to happen. However, since the 2 buggers are adults, they should be able to handle this issue in a proper manner without affceting the friendship.
Nevertheless, I went to do some tarot card reading for myself. As for the question in mind, it's for me to know for and others to find out.
Universal 6 Cards
how you feel about yourself now (The Hierophant)
You feel a need for advice or wise council or perhaps spiritual consolation. Someone, or perhaps immediate events, will provide moral and practical guidance. Perhaps you are considering being such a tutor, counsellor or spiritual advisor? You desire the tried and tested traditional values, so when considering your options, this approach will prove wiser than adopting an unconventional novel approach. For example, marriage is more likely to be your desire than a living together situation.
what you most want at this moment (The Moon)
The cards suggest Johnny, that what you most want at this time is some clarity and less of these confused emotions that leave you fearful and vulnerable. You want to know the outcome, because you are so unsure about how you feel. Use your intuition to guide you away from any deception and ride this out - it will turn out alright in the end. The Moon is a good omen if you are in a clandestine affair.
your fears (The High Priestess)
You are feeling uneasy and insecure, something in your gut is saying ‘be careful, all is not as it seems’ - something just doesn’t feel right. If so, delay any decisions or actions until you have answered your concerns. If male this could signify a significant woman in your life being a bad influence.
>> I wonder who will that be.....
what is going for you (The Fool)
This is an exciting time with much potential for fun and good times. Your confidence should be high, it's a great time for new possibilities. If you are considering leaving your job, home or relationship, in time you will. An unexpected desire will be fulfilled, even before you express it!
what is going against you (The World)
As always, fear holds us back and so often leads to missed opportunities. Do not give up or change direction this late in the game just because you have experienced delays - stick with it, have faith and trust the universe, and you will reach the successful conclusion you are wanting.
outcome (The Lovers)
Love is coming into your life even if you really can't see where from at this time. If you are on your own a new lover will soon enter your life. If you are in an unhappy relationship you have a choice to make - go with your heart, take the risk, greater happiness is ahead of you.
Nevertheless, I went to do some tarot card reading for myself. As for the question in mind, it's for me to know for and others to find out.
You feel a need for advice or wise council or perhaps spiritual consolation. Someone, or perhaps immediate events, will provide moral and practical guidance. Perhaps you are considering being such a tutor, counsellor or spiritual advisor? You desire the tried and tested traditional values, so when considering your options, this approach will prove wiser than adopting an unconventional novel approach. For example, marriage is more likely to be your desire than a living together situation.
The cards suggest Johnny, that what you most want at this time is some clarity and less of these confused emotions that leave you fearful and vulnerable. You want to know the outcome, because you are so unsure about how you feel. Use your intuition to guide you away from any deception and ride this out - it will turn out alright in the end. The Moon is a good omen if you are in a clandestine affair.
You are feeling uneasy and insecure, something in your gut is saying ‘be careful, all is not as it seems’ - something just doesn’t feel right. If so, delay any decisions or actions until you have answered your concerns. If male this could signify a significant woman in your life being a bad influence.
>> I wonder who will that be.....
This is an exciting time with much potential for fun and good times. Your confidence should be high, it's a great time for new possibilities. If you are considering leaving your job, home or relationship, in time you will. An unexpected desire will be fulfilled, even before you express it!
As always, fear holds us back and so often leads to missed opportunities. Do not give up or change direction this late in the game just because you have experienced delays - stick with it, have faith and trust the universe, and you will reach the successful conclusion you are wanting.
Love is coming into your life even if you really can't see where from at this time. If you are on your own a new lover will soon enter your life. If you are in an unhappy relationship you have a choice to make - go with your heart, take the risk, greater happiness is ahead of you.
Today is my first day back to work after 2 weeks of "vacation". Going into the office with a heavy heart after what I heard from Krist and Andy. In the end, things don't as bad as it seems and everyone's seems to be at peace working their own projects. Either I had been smoked or the situation described to me had been exaggerated. Nevertheless, glad to see that everything's ok but it do ring something in my head: Never ever believed whoever in this office.
During lunch, my xuemei called me. She asked wat had happened to me....I'm glad that she is concerned about me but what can happen to me? She thought something had been troubling me for I didn't contact her for a while but I've reassured her so issue resolved...
I have been feeling uneasy the whole day. Yes, it's because of my backaches and it's time for some maintenance. I've asked SBG for an address of a sinseh she known. Thankfully, she replied in time but when I checked the street directory, fwah, I see also blurred. In the end, I gave up and try locating the one I'd visited years ago. At least I can still roughly guess the location. Nevertheless, really appreciate SBG's help. With minimum effort, I finally found the clinic and I was the only patient there so there's no waiting. I told the sinseh and he did the rubbing and the best part, realign the bones on my neck. The sound of bones cracking never failed to get me high! He did some additional rubbing on some accupoints on my back and after the session I do feel much better.
During lunch, my xuemei called me. She asked wat had happened to me....I'm glad that she is concerned about me but what can happen to me? She thought something had been troubling me for I didn't contact her for a while but I've reassured her so issue resolved...
I have been feeling uneasy the whole day. Yes, it's because of my backaches and it's time for some maintenance. I've asked SBG for an address of a sinseh she known. Thankfully, she replied in time but when I checked the street directory, fwah, I see also blurred. In the end, I gave up and try locating the one I'd visited years ago. At least I can still roughly guess the location. Nevertheless, really appreciate SBG's help. With minimum effort, I finally found the clinic and I was the only patient there so there's no waiting. I told the sinseh and he did the rubbing and the best part, realign the bones on my neck. The sound of bones cracking never failed to get me high! He did some additional rubbing on some accupoints on my back and after the session I do feel much better.
Hmmm... it's been 2 weeks since I last post a blog and I see a totally revamped interface at blogger.com. A refreshing look indeed. Just to make up for the "lost" 2 weeks, this may be one long entry.... Blooger.com, don't hang on me!!! :D
Finally my ICT is finally over, when I first go for the in-processing, I was kinda totally lost since it was my first training in a new unit since my release from military. New place, new faces and no one that I know is in this camp. 70% of the time in my first day is just pure travelling, from one camp to another and then go to another camp where I'll be settled down over there. From that kind of travelling, half of my tank is practically used up. Once I've settled down, I was orientated on the job scope that I was assigned to. It's pretty stress-free from the look of it. However, on the first day, I was down with a pretty bad flu, and been sneezing the whole day. And it took me 3 days to recover from it, so most will imagine the amount of tissues I've used up.....
One of the days, my colleague Eileen called up and later I chatted with my "boss" Krist (called him boss coz he took care of our stuff, not our real boss keke) and found out that Moi had been suffering from "PMS" since the first day I'm gone. Best of all, I heard I was backstabbed by her as she pushed all the blame to me just when I'm not around. This was confirmed when I met Andy during the CCNA class and told me about the same thing. Sad to say, things in the office are not the same anymore. As much as I don't wanna get involved with the stupid politics in the office, it just caught up with me. Well, I'll see what is gonna happen in office when I go back.... maybe I should switch on my BASTARD mode and make some hell for those who wanna play politics with me....
Yesterday was the last day of my training, where me and my fellow NSmen won't see each other for at least one year. In the morning, I've been feeling shitty, body aching all over. Ok, I can endure the pain, thinking that the aching will go away soon. However, it just got worse by the hour. I touched my forehead, ok leh, not hot wat, so I thought it's only just aching only. During the happy hour, everyone is having fun and that was the time when I feel that I am in a unit. The worse part is when I going to leave the camp and head for home. Riding was a torture for me as head is spinning and body is painful. when home, I quickly bath and head for the bed, maybe some rest will make me better. When my mum came back from work, she touched my forehead and said that I'm running a high fever! Holy fuck, I can't even feel the heat on my forehead then that must be pretty serious. So bo bian, she passed me 2 "power" capsules and I went to rest and after a night of sweating, I feel better this morning but still weak from it. What I worry is that I hope the fever won't affect my hearing as hearing for me is very very important. Guess I'll take a few more days to fully recover from this crappy fever...
Finally my ICT is finally over, when I first go for the in-processing, I was kinda totally lost since it was my first training in a new unit since my release from military. New place, new faces and no one that I know is in this camp. 70% of the time in my first day is just pure travelling, from one camp to another and then go to another camp where I'll be settled down over there. From that kind of travelling, half of my tank is practically used up. Once I've settled down, I was orientated on the job scope that I was assigned to. It's pretty stress-free from the look of it. However, on the first day, I was down with a pretty bad flu, and been sneezing the whole day. And it took me 3 days to recover from it, so most will imagine the amount of tissues I've used up.....
One of the days, my colleague Eileen called up and later I chatted with my "boss" Krist (called him boss coz he took care of our stuff, not our real boss keke) and found out that Moi had been suffering from "PMS" since the first day I'm gone. Best of all, I heard I was backstabbed by her as she pushed all the blame to me just when I'm not around. This was confirmed when I met Andy during the CCNA class and told me about the same thing. Sad to say, things in the office are not the same anymore. As much as I don't wanna get involved with the stupid politics in the office, it just caught up with me. Well, I'll see what is gonna happen in office when I go back.... maybe I should switch on my BASTARD mode and make some hell for those who wanna play politics with me....
Yesterday was the last day of my training, where me and my fellow NSmen won't see each other for at least one year. In the morning, I've been feeling shitty, body aching all over. Ok, I can endure the pain, thinking that the aching will go away soon. However, it just got worse by the hour. I touched my forehead, ok leh, not hot wat, so I thought it's only just aching only. During the happy hour, everyone is having fun and that was the time when I feel that I am in a unit. The worse part is when I going to leave the camp and head for home. Riding was a torture for me as head is spinning and body is painful. when home, I quickly bath and head for the bed, maybe some rest will make me better. When my mum came back from work, she touched my forehead and said that I'm running a high fever! Holy fuck, I can't even feel the heat on my forehead then that must be pretty serious. So bo bian, she passed me 2 "power" capsules and I went to rest and after a night of sweating, I feel better this morning but still weak from it. What I worry is that I hope the fever won't affect my hearing as hearing for me is very very important. Guess I'll take a few more days to fully recover from this crappy fever...
Did some online chinese fortune telling for the sake of fun. True or not, I can't even care anymore...
Chinese fortune telling thru lots
第三十三支: 中平
占驗古人: 孔明識破曹操
曹操雖有深謀計 智慧難瞞諸葛候
試看東風都可借 更能流馬木成牛
仙機 : 宅平常 || 財難有 || 蚕與畜 || 慎看守 || 孕與病 || 禱神佑 || 問婚姻 || 非吾偶 || 行人歸 || 要遲久 || 謀望事 || 恐難有
問風水 : 難以發丁財
問遺失 : 難以得原物
問自身 : 略有不平安
問天時 : 難以測天機
問出行 : 亦恐有不美
附註 : 曹操雖有奸計。而不瞞得孔明。能借東風以燒曹兵。又造木牛運糧。以養軍士。則曹操奸謀。終不可用矣。求得此簽者。切不可奸謀害人之心。人可瞞。天勿瞞。必須立心修善。可以化凶為吉。不可學曹之奸計也。就簽而論。凡事不利。要防小人是非口舌。如立心光明正。大可化凶為吉也。
Too chim for me to comprehend anyway... *shrug
Traditional Fortune Telling:
Love:
地火明夷
囊中有物之象．雨後苔色之意
艱難順利
Career:
天火同人
暗夜舉燈之象．管鮑分金之意
利益相當大、尤其共事更吉。
Marriage:
澤雷隨
乖馬逐鹿之象．我彼悅動之意
隨順得利，勿頑強固執不接受人意。
Ambition:
風地觀
風揚塵埃之象
成交有障礙困難，但勿急，以誠待人，可獲利
And this one... best... lagi chim...
Based on my 生辰八字﹕
“生在黃帝足﹐ 修行免榮碌﹐ 一世也平安﹐ 不宜居祖屋
女人嫁二夫﹐ 男人妻兩續﹐ 踏破荒山嶺﹐ 離祖方成福”
http://fate.hongkong.com/zh_tw/divine/king/index.html
Chinese fortune telling thru lots
第三十三支: 中平
占驗古人: 孔明識破曹操
曹操雖有深謀計 智慧難瞞諸葛候
試看東風都可借 更能流馬木成牛
仙機 : 宅平常 || 財難有 || 蚕與畜 || 慎看守 || 孕與病 || 禱神佑 || 問婚姻 || 非吾偶 || 行人歸 || 要遲久 || 謀望事 || 恐難有
問風水 : 難以發丁財
問遺失 : 難以得原物
問自身 : 略有不平安
問天時 : 難以測天機
問出行 : 亦恐有不美
附註 : 曹操雖有奸計。而不瞞得孔明。能借東風以燒曹兵。又造木牛運糧。以養軍士。則曹操奸謀。終不可用矣。求得此簽者。切不可奸謀害人之心。人可瞞。天勿瞞。必須立心修善。可以化凶為吉。不可學曹之奸計也。就簽而論。凡事不利。要防小人是非口舌。如立心光明正。大可化凶為吉也。
Too chim for me to comprehend anyway... *shrug
Traditional Fortune Telling:
Love:
地火明夷
囊中有物之象．雨後苔色之意
艱難順利
Career:
天火同人
暗夜舉燈之象．管鮑分金之意
利益相當大、尤其共事更吉。
Marriage:
澤雷隨
乖馬逐鹿之象．我彼悅動之意
隨順得利，勿頑強固執不接受人意。
Ambition:
風地觀
風揚塵埃之象
成交有障礙困難，但勿急，以誠待人，可獲利
And this one... best... lagi chim...
Based on my 生辰八字﹕
“生在黃帝足﹐ 修行免榮碌﹐ 一世也平安﹐ 不宜居祖屋
女人嫁二夫﹐ 男人妻兩續﹐ 踏破荒山嶺﹐ 離祖方成福”
Heart pain day
Yes, thanks to fucking SAF, I have to let go something which I've hold on to for 2 years: my hair. I walked into the salon with a heavy heart and when the first stroke of the scissors go across the first batch of hair, *ouch!* that fucking hurts. That was the longest hair I've ever kept in my lifetime and probably won't get another chance to grow hair that long anymore.
What's made me feel more sian is that although I told the hair stylist that I want to cut the hair short, it doesn't mean THAT SHORT! Before I can say anything, she already snipped off my fringe and left only a very short length.... Nah beiz, now I need a few months to get the fringe back again.... KNN.
What's made me feel more sian is that although I told the hair stylist that I want to cut the hair short, it doesn't mean THAT SHORT! Before I can say anything, she already snipped off my fringe and left only a very short length.... Nah beiz, now I need a few months to get the fringe back again.... KNN.
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